Columbus Day

Courtesy of geocities.com. He looks angry.

Columbus Day, or, as my mom likes to call it "Day of the Indigenous Peoples," is the day we celebrate Christopher Columbus sailing the ocean blue back in 1492, only to mistakenly crash onto already-inhabited lands and become the first person to wear the Century 21 Gold Blazer and win the Cadillac (the British colonists came second - they only got the set of steak knives).

While Columbus and his Day may be surrounded by controversy (What about the Indians/Native Americans/American Indians? What about the Vikings up north? Didn't he first land in the Caribbean?), we celebrate his accomplishment because we honor man's intrepid spirit to face the unknown and explore beyond our horizons for science, understanding, and new, exciting spices. If it weren't for Columbus, the New World might not have been discovered until much, much later. Like two years later! So every year we take pause and reflect on one of humanity's greatest accomplishments - the day the world became a little bit smaller but still managed to grow in our imagination. To facilitate these ponderous moments, schoolchildren across the land have a day off.

And I don't.

Yes, I'm complaining! Of course I am. What else do I do? Is school so taxing on the wee ones that they need another three-day weekend? They just had Labor Day, and Thanksgiving is right around the corner. Ok, ok. It's the only day in October they get off. Right? Fine - give the kiddies a break.

Can...can I have the day off, too? I don't see why not? Will industry collapse, will the foundations of American capitalism be shaken to its core if we have one more day to gripe about tomorrow? Perhaps the powers that be think that if we get this day we'll be asking for more. What's next, they ask? Arbor Day? Birthdays? The anniversaries of very special moments from Friends?

(I apologize for the Friends joke. That was lazy writing, and I'm too lazy to change it.)

One day off a month helps boost morale, keeps us fresh and energized. We also have something to look forward to. Perhaps some of us have vacation and/or personal days, but some of us want to save those for when we really need them. Like for dentist appointments or adding that extra day to your vacation. Having a three-day weekend will make workers more relaxed and upbeat. We also hate Mondays. There's just a stigma attached to it. Even if we started on Tuesday and worked on Saturday we would be much happier. Again, Office Space gets it right. So why not give us one day off, on a Monday, so we can toil away at Excel with just a tad less contempt?