Projects

No, that's not me.


Sometimes life at the workplace can become tedious. Monotonous. Boring. Sometimes a routine can be comforting, giving you a feeling of security and safety. But most other times being in a routine is the same as being stuck in a rut. But not this kind of rut. More like this (and no, that's not me either). You feel trapped and claustrophobic. You feel that with each passing second your life ekes out of your pores, precious moments drifting by, never to be regained. You feel as if your life is like sand that is being sifted through a still and then crashed upon by ocean waves, all falling through an hourglass. A routine can be bad. Very bad. All Work And No Play - that sort of thing. Needless to say, it doesn't end well:







This is Jack Nicholson. Not me.



OK, so maybe it turns out a bit more unpleasant. But the other pictures were too scary.



The point is to find some things that help break the routine so we don't become axe-wielding maniacs. There are many ways to get out of the routine of work, work, eat, work, sleep, work, watch TV, work, sit silently watching a blank wall pondering the mysteries of the universe, work, etc, ad infinitum ad nauseum. One way to break the routine is to simply take a break: go on the Internet, take a walk around the office. A little break every now and then is essential to retaining your sanity. But I think there are better, more lasting ways to prevent zombification. These are projects. By having projects you set long-term goals for yourself. Projects should be fun, or should at least have little or nothing to do with your work. There are a number of ways to get creative. Here are some ideas:




1. Fantasy Football - Or any sport of your choosing, providing it's in season and there is a fantasy league somewhere online. Yahoo! Sports is what I know, and it may be the most popular fantasy site. There must be others though. ESPN should have one. All you do is get a bunch of friends and sign up. You draft your players, set up your roster, and let the computer do the rest! You don't have to know much about anything to play. I'll admit, I'm not too sports savvy. But I still have fun. You can pick your team colors, give your team a snazzy, inappropriate name, and unleash your best smack talk. Sure, you can trade players, look up stats, do math, and try to win (there are point systems for players and it's not too difficult to figure out), but the real fun comes in being part of the group and focusing on something that isn't work. My Fantasy Football team, The Runnerups is currently in third place. But there's still time.




2. Try and get a Wii - Go ahead. Try it. I dare you. Yeah, you can probably buy one online for around $500 (that's double the $250 retail price), or go on eBay and pay a little less, but I don't think you can find one in stores. Unless you have a tent, a nice supply of food, and a shotgun to fend off wolves and line-cutting teenagers, you might have a hard time getting a Wii. What's a Wii, you may ask? It's a video game console. It's neat because you wave a stick around and it makes little cartoon characters on your TV move around. Unlike moving a joystick, like regular old video games. I work near the Nintendo Store in New York, perhaps the only place in the country guaranteed to have Wiis in stock (almost) every day. But they only have around 150. And they open their doors promptly at 9:00 or earlier, and at 8:00 a.m. there is already a line half a block long. So a fun project might be to scour the earth to snag these wildly popular consoles. It may be daunting, it can be frustrating, but if you get one - can you give it to me?





3. Paper clips! - Paper clips are a useful tool. Yes, you can clip paper with them, but you can also short circuit an electrical outlet, make a pointy rod, or create some nifty projects. Paper clips are great because you can - gasp!- clip them together. Some fun uses for this are to make your very own paper clip curtain and hang it at your cubicle entrance. You can also make a paper clip chain mail vest, like the bloke in the picture above. Whoa Nellie! You're having fun now! Apparently that guy had a TV show in the fifties. He co-starred with a puppet. Another thing to do with paper clips is to bend and mold them into little people. Then you can have an army of paper clip people ready to do your bidding. Pit them against one another or even make them your employees. You're the boss, now!






4. Get to know everyone in your department - Ask them questions, get to know their personal side. Be friendly, outgoing, fun. You might learn something, do important networking, or make some friends. On second thought, this might be too much work. Let's skip this one.



5. Play darts, office style - Do you have those particle-board-type tiles on your office ceiling? The kind where if you throw a sharp pen or pencil just right you can get it to stick? If so, then color a bulls-eye on a tile and see how well you can do. This isn't a long-term project, though. In fact, this could be a very short-term project because if your co-workers or boss see this, there's a good chance you'll get fired. Especially if you happen to miss the ceiling and poke someone's eye out.





6. Rearrange your desk - This can happen however frequently you want - every month, week, day, hour - it's up to you! Put your Post-It notes on your left instead of your right. Move your computer to face a different wall if you can. Get rid of that old, crinkled inspirational poster featuring the cat hanging by the wire and replace it with a new, shiny poster with the picture shown here. Yes, this is pretty work related, but it will give you a new boost of energy and enthusiasm.





7. Learn origami - There's a good chance you'll have paper by you, so why not learn some origami? You can impress your friends, make some nifty hats, and see if you can make your own paper version of the San Diego Zoo by replicating every animal there.





As you may be able to tell, I have been running out of steam. If I think of more projects I will let you know. How about you? Can you suggest any projects? Are you doing something that gets you through the day? Knitting? Crocheting? Collecting stamps that you tore off from office mail? Let me know!

Giving Thanks

Ah yes, Thanksgiving. The time of year when friends, family, and loved ones gather round the table and give thanks for the many blessings in their lives. So, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I will list what I am thankful for.

1. I'm thankful that I have a job - There are many benefits that come with having a job, such as income, health insurance, and a neat little name tag that gets me onto my floor. And thanks to my job I'm not bored sitting at home. Instead of learning a new language, learning how to play an instrument, doing exercise, or seeing the world - I get to work! Thank goodness. What's that? I can do those things even while working a full-time job? Thanks for the tip. Jerk.

2. Thanks for reading this blog. I'm sorry I called you a jerk. I'll take your advice and try to broaden my horizons. Thanks. And thanks for posting comments, it's great to hear what you think. There are so many other blogs and websites out there, I know mine might seem a little simple, a little mundane. So that's why I thank you personally, all six of you, for stopping by.

3. I'm thankful that I can buy things - Like this turkey cake pan from Williams Sonoma. The finished product is seen above. I love cake.

4. I am thankful that Dan Aykroyd is still getting work - Is anyone else super exited for this? I'm pumped. I love Ghostbusters. It may be my favorite movie. Apparently the game is a sequel, a legitimate entry in the series. It just happens to be a video game. The original cast is supposedly on board to do voice work, and the script of the game was written by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis. The game hits stores late next year. Now only if they would bring back Hi-C Ectocooler, my life would be complete.

5. I'm thankful for water coolers - Free water! What a concept! Water coolers give me cool, pure cups of refreshing, cleansing H20. A trip to the water cooler also takes time away from working (kind of like this blog). And that's always a good thing.

6. Thanks for the memories - I just wanted to say that. I have a terrible memory. Don't expect me to remember your name. Or that I even met you.

7. Thanks for vacation days - In Europe they have mandatory 35 hour work weeks. There is a minimum of two weeks paid vacation. We're lucky that we don't have to work on the weekends. So when that vacation day comes around it seems like your CEO gives you a back massage and a bowl of rare tropical fruit, just to say thanks. Thank you, friendly cabana-boy CEO.

Well, that's about all my fragile little mind can muster right now. What are you thankful for? What are you not thankful for? How many times did I use "thank?" Happy Thanksgiving!

Strikes, Daylight Savings, and 5-1

Thanks to AP

Some of you may be clamoring for the conclusion of last week's list: Ten Things I've Learned about Work Thus Far. Well, I'll get to that in a minute. After all, a good cliffhanger wouldn't be very good if it was resolved immediately. You have to keep the tension and suspense up in the beginning to keep people hooked until the end.

Which brings me to strikes. Today members of the Writer's Guild of America went on strike (struck?). If you are unawares, writers of film and television belong to their own union, and apparently a good amount of them are upset over royalties and DVD sales, or something to that effect. Without these writers our beloved television shows will soon peter out, leaving us with a glut of reality television and reruns. New movies may be stalled, but there is a good chance there is a backlog of scripts out there. But, there are some more things to consider:

1. How much good stuff is there on TV anyway? Aren't there too many reality shows already? Will the content be that much worse now that union writers are on strike?

2. Aren't there tons of people out there who would jump at the chance to write for TV or films without union benefits? I know I would.

3. And finally, is the plight of the Hollywood writer that monumental that they have to go on strike?

Yes, sometimes it is a good thing for people to go on strike, if pay is so low and conditions are so bad that the working man and woman fear for their lives. Strikes seem to be reserved only for truckers, auto-plant workers, and public servants: jobs that are essential for a functioning society - so essential in some cases that they should not be able to strike. A real Catch-22. But Hollywood writers? You may think I am callous or a hypocrite. Who am I to throw scorn at the face of the hard-working peon, the lowly scribe who toils away to create art only to have corporate suits skewer their vision and turn it into dreck?

Well, perhaps I should not criticize the writers for wanting what they are due. We all know that strikes don't always end well. It only makes both sides angry and confused and turns debate and level-headed negotiation into petty name calling purple monkey dishwasher. But now that I think about it, I fully support the writers. Give them what they want! Stop paying vapid celebrity actors millions of dollars! Please, please don't let Lost get postponed any more!

Sorry, I spent way too much time on that. Quickly though, I have a question about Daylight Savings. This past weekend we "fell back" and gained an hour. It's all a sham, people! Farmers don't control this country anymore! Now when I wake up it is bright outside. That is good for us early-risers because it makes getting out of bed less unbearable. But then it gets dark out at 5. I thought the point of the new Daylight Savings was to have us be awake during the daylight hours to conserve electricity. No? Can anyone explain the reason? The history? Why we don't just stick with the summer hours?

And finally, the moment you have all been waiting for. The conclusion to the list. I'll try and keep it short.

5. Coffee...urg...good!: Like Frankenstein's monster, most of us are stiff, lumbering beasts with limited brain function when we slip out of bed. We also look terrible. But even after the shower we might only evolve from reanimated corpse to a simple zombie. Thankfully, there is coffee. I used to work at my school's coffee shop and I never drank the stuff. A little ironic. But now I need it. Crave it! Maybe because caffeine is an addictive substance, but probably because it keeps me awake. Coffee is necessary for work.

4. You gain a greater appreciation for windows: No, not the computer operating system but good, old-fashioned glass. Remember when you were in elementary school (or every school level, really) and it was a bright, sunny day outside but you had to listen about the Battle of Ticonderoga? How you gazed longingly at the daffodils and rolling pastures, itching to bolt through the door so you can frolic blissfully? Well, the same feeling applies at work. If you are not near a window you are probably more productive, or more likely to lose all color in your skin and start making chain-mail out of paperclips. Windows are a reminder that there is an outside world. And it's close. So close. But so far away.

3. Work: It's not that bad: Sure, sure, everyday you trudge to your workplace and do mindless chores for at least seven hours, but you get paid! You're doing things! You interact with people...maybe. There are some people without jobs. You realize that you are better off than thousands of people around the world and maybe in your own town. Do you want to be on the streets? I thought not. So be thankful for what you have.

2. Work: It's still kind of bad: I spent four years at college for this? I thought I was a bright, creative, energetic individual with lofty ambitions and an altruistic spirit. I was going to change the world! I was going to do good and make a difference! Even if you didn't go to college or didn't want to save the world, you probably hoped that your work would mean something to you. That it would be fulfilling. That you would accomplish something important. That the job benifitted you and maybe, just maybe, it also benefitted something greater than yourself. Instead you feel like a drone. You feel like you are just working to make money, to appease your capitalist overlords, to keep the system running. Of course, if you are like me, you only just started and can go up, up, up...

Which brings me to the number one thing I've learned about working thus far...

1. I haven't learned too much. It's only been around three months. There is still potential to grow in the company I am at now, or to find a job I really enjoy. And yet, knowing all I do about the unemployed, paying bills, failing Social Security, and growing up, I still complain and gripe. Why? Because I'm still photocopying? Because I'm an entry-level employee? Well, yes. But there is still a lot more for me to learn. There is still more for me to experience. I have years ahead of me and I will have other jobs. Bigger jobs. Better jobs.

Or at least I hope.

This was pretty long, I apologize. But what are your thoughts on going on strike? The current state of Hollywood? Daylight Savings Time? What have you learned about work thus far? Let me know.